melcrook

Promise Me

2007-05-08T20:24:27Z

Title: Promise Me
Author: mel
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 129
Summary: An old song Jack hears makes him think about his and Daniels latest argument.
With big thanks and hugs to ShaMak and Bethany!

Promise me

We both climb into bed exhausted. Briefly, we kiss and you turn your back to me. Subtle, Daniel, real subtle. My
mind wanders to a song I heard a long time ago.

You light up another cigarette
And I pour the wine

We’ve done that nearly every night we’ve been together, well not the cigarette thing but the wine…yes. I gave up smoking after the first trip to Abydos. I remember when you were staying at mine you asked why I stopped.
‘Because of you’ I wanted to say, instead I muttered something about health reasons. You flopped onto the
couch and I grabbed a bottle of wine. "Oh, this I can survive on!" you smiled as you poured it.

It’s four o’clock in the morning
And it’s starting to get light

I think we stayed up all night, actually. Not a wink of sleep between us. 4 bottles of wine later, at about 04
hundred hours, I was getting tired but you were fine. It amazed me how after one beer you’re tipsy but 4 bottles
of wine and you're still fine. It still does amaze me, in fact! The light started to stream through the Patio doors
and I closed my eyes to bathe in it. You were still chatting about something, assuming I was listening but I
wasn’t. I was just listening to the sound of your beautiful voice which reminded me of home and lulled me
to sleep.

Now I’m right where I want to be
Losing track of time

Anyway, I know I fell asleep at some point because I woke up with the afghan up near my neck and you wrapped around me, head on my shoulder, arms around my waist and feet in-between mine, snoring contently, if not
quietly. A smug smile formed on my face. I must have fallen asleep again because I felt you nuzzle up against me and I woke up slowly. "Morning," we chimed as if it were normal for two men who just over a year ago had argued like
hell to be waking up in each others arms like that.

But I wish that it was still last night

As I watched you gracefully move around my kitchen fixing me some coffee and some Tylenol—because wine doesn’t agree with me like it does you—,I started to wish. I wished I’d listened to you last night. I wished
Sha’re had never been taken. I wish we could have rescued her, instead of Teal'c having to kill her. I wished you were truly happy here. I wished my head didn’t hurt so much. But mostly I wished these feelings I had for
you would go away!

Slowly, the memory fades away, and I’m back to our bed. I roll over to face you—well, your back anyway—and
I sigh.

You look like you’re in another world
But I can read your mind

I know you're pissed. Experience tells me. The brief kiss as we lay down is never a good sign, however, it is
usually associated with a Daniel in pain rather than a pissed one. But the reply to my ‘I Love You’, ‘Me Too’,
is a sure fire sign you’re angry. Angry with me. Angry with the SGC, Hammond and probably the President,
but mostly me. "IT’S NOT AS IF I CAN TELL THE PRESIDENT TO STICK THE JOB DANIEL," I had yelled at you earlier. "WHY THE HELL NOT?" you shouted back. I was glad my office was sound proof and Walter just
outside in the briefing room couldn’t hear us. Unfortunately this was not just a normal argument. If it were,
by now we’d be having make-up sex. Sweet, sweet make-up sex…

How can you be so far away
Lying by my side

Your breathing has evened out now and I know that you're asleep. I long to reach out and touch you, soothe
you and kiss you. But I don’t. I know you're too far away. Dreaming about God knows what, probably ancient
texts, lost civilisations or us. No, not the last one, not us, not after a row. You were distant in the car on the
way home and you’re still distant now. So near, but so far. What a cliché.

When I go away I’ll miss you
And I will be thinking of you
Every night and day just …

I leave in a week. Hand the SGC and you over to some guy, Hank Landry. I know you will try to leave on the
Daedalus but they won’t let you, SG-1 is too important. You’re too important. I’ll never forget you, you know. How could I forget the person that made me feel again, reminded me how to love? For that you’ll always have a
special place in my heart. It’s not as if we’ll split up before I move. I mean I’ll be in DC and you’ll be here or
in the Pegasus Galaxy, God forbid. Wherever we are, I’ll love you.

Promise me you’ll wait for me
’cos I’ll be saving all my love for you
And I will be home soon
Promise me you’ll wait for me
I need to know you feel the same way too
And I’ll be home, I’ll be home soon

"Daniel." I pat you on the back.

"What?" you snap. Obviously sleep hasn’t wiped your memory. Shame!

Slowly I swallow and sing, well if you call it singing, the chorus of ‘Promise Me’ to you. Then I wait. "Throw me
a bone here Daniel!"

You chuckle at my choice of cliché. "You old sap," you say smiling sweetly, that same smile that made me
realise I loved you. "Yes, I will wait for you Jack. I’d wait forever."

You plant a nice, sweet, passionate kiss on my lips and I smile. Nice one O’Neill, make-up sex is on the agenda after all.

Sometimes

2007-03-13T18:54:10Z

Sometimes

Title: Sometimes
Author: mel
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Rating: PG
Word count: 129
Summary: Sometimes Jack thinks Daniel's still here

Sometimes, in the dead of night, if Jack is quiet enough, he can almost hear his lover's heavy breathing, a puff of hot air blowing against the back of his ear. He can nearly taste the heat from Daniel's half naked body, just inches away, and the deadweight of an arm thrown protectively over his waist.

Sometimes Jack turns to steal a midnight kiss from his soul mate but he is met with nothing but thin air. The sensations he feels moments before being just memories of when Daniel was still there with him. Still…corporeal.

But most of the time, Jack doesn't stir. He just soaks in the feelings and memories that always end with Daniel sleepily declaring 'I Love You'. Then Jack smiles and he can sleep soundly.

Feedback is almost as good as these guys!
Big thanks to ShaMak and Sarah my little muse!
x

Like We Never Loved At All

2006-12-04T19:47:17Z

Title: Like we never loved at all

Author: Me

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Word count: 1356

Categories: Angst, hurt/comfort.

Disclaimer: Stargate isn't mine and I'm not making any profit from this story.

Summary: Daniel's afraid of what he'll find when he goes to DC.

I really didn’t want to come to DC. Didn’t want to face what or who was up there. But it was like a team holiday and how could I say no? So I got on the plane with the others and sat next to Teal’c, who kel'no'reemed the whole way there, thankfully.

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights

He met us outside our Hotel in his damn dress blues. Why did he have to wear them, he knows what they do to me.

There, walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon

He greeted Sam with open arms, Teal’c got a pat on the shoulder, Cameron got a handshake and Vala got a, "So you’re the new one." Then, someone must have cracked a joke, because suddenly he was laughing and my mind was thinking of all the times he’d laughed with me. That’s when the lump at the back of my throat appeared.

I swear you looked right through me

Finally he turned to me and I got a rather cold, "Daniel." He didn’t even look me in the eyes. I really didn’t trust my voice around him, so I just nodded. How sad is that I still can’t speak around him after all this time, can’t trust my voice to say something without the pain and regret showing, without it breaking as tears fill my eyes. This is why I didn’t want to come to Washington. Because Jack‘s here.

But I'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life

Someone, I think it’s Cameron, asks Jack how he’s been, and he reels off all the things he’s been doing and then some. Funny isn’t it, how the dumper always moves on quickly and the dumpee is always found wallowing in a pit of self-pity and ice-cream; oh, and caffeine in my case.

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that’s just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
You, I hear you're doing fine
Seems like you're doing well
As far as I can tell

Somehow I get stuck sharing a room with Vala, not exactly my idea of a great time, I can assure you. Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she starts to recite the things Jack has been up to. Once again I’m left with the feeling of regret, regret that he left me for this. I totally zoned out on Vala and she pats me on the shoulder. "Don’t worry," she says kindly, "I’m sure its not all fun and games here; and I’d bet money that he misses you too." Slowly I nod. "He tells Sam he misses us when he rings her." Vala smiles, not unkindly, and sighs. "I said he misses you, not the team." I raise my head, expecting more, but I just get a smile and a nod. Great, thanks Vala, if I wasn’t confused before, I am now!

Time, is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet

I spent the day sleeping, told everyone I was jet-lagged. I wasn’t, but they were all going out with Jack and I couldn’t stand the idea of that, so I slept. I could of sworn only a couple of hours had passed, but before I knew it, Vala was waking me up, telling me we were leaving for dinner in forty minutes. My, doesn’t time fly quickly when you’re heartbroken! So, I quickly shower and dress, and I’m ready. I didn’t notice until I was in the restaurant, but I had put on a light blue shirt…a light blue shirt that Jack had brought me before he left. At that moment I knew this meal was going to be Ne’tu on Earth! Towards the end of the evening, everyone has had a little too much to drink, and somehow Jack had conned Teal’c into telling Jaffa jokes that were never funny, but everyone always laughed. Well, not tonight. I didn’t laugh once. Not the whole night, I didn’t find anything funny, not the jokes not the anecdotes, nothing. I’m beginning to think my sense of humor left with Jack, but nobody said anything to me, so I think I got away with it.

So tell me what your secret is
To letting go, letting go like you did

I’d love to know how he does it. How he manages to move on so quickly and forget everything in the blink of an eye. I wish I could. I wish I could just take my love for Jack, box it up and put it on a shelf somewhere, along with my love for my parents, Sarah and Sha’re. But I can’t. He touched me too deeply. Left an imprint in my soul and my heart. An imprint that will never fade or be forgotten.

"I’m just popping downstairs." Vala smiled at me. "So you can chat up the bell boy?" I asked. She just smiled more and winked. A few minutes had passed when there was a knock on the door. "I can’t believe you forgot your key!" I shouted as I opened it. "Hello, Daniel," Jack muttered. I could feel my eyes filling up even at the sight of him, how pathetic am I? "Yes?" I ask coolly "Can we talk, please? I‘d like to come in too…" He smiles. "Don’t want much do you?" I mutter, as I step back to let him in.

"I miss you," he states. Just like that, no preamble, no ‘how you been’; just ‘I miss you’. I looked around the room to check I was the only one in there. Yep, just me. "You miss me?" I repeat.

"Yep, you, I miss you, don’t you miss me?" I really can’t believe he is asking me this. Do I miss him? Is the Pope catholic? Does a bear shit in the woods? Does the desert miss the rain? I shake my head: he misses me, the man who shows no emotion – or signs of it – misses me? "You don’t miss me," I tell him. He tries to speak but I keep talking. "How can you miss me? You walk around like nothing ever happened between us, at the SGC people avoid me now because I miss you so much, I find myself crying all the time over the most insignificant things, like your team winning, for Christ’s sake! Have you even shed one tear over me? Is that how you dealt with it, Jack, pretending nothing ever happened? That you never loved me? Or were you lying when you said that?"

"NO," he shouted "Don’t ever think that I don’t love you Daniel; I do, so much it hurts and I can’t think of anything else, but I was trying to protect you." "Protect me from what?!" I shouted back at him.

Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion, oh
And did you ever miss me?
And long to kiss me Oh baby, baby

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into a bone-melting kiss. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that," he whispers when we break for air. "About as much as I have," I whisper back. "I’d almost forgotten how good a kisser you are," he said, blushing. "You don’t need to remember, because this time, I‘m not going to let you go," I said, smiling. "Good, Spacemonkey, ‘cuz I’m not leaving, even if you want me too."

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

melcrook @ 2006-10-22T21:08:00

2006-10-22T21:11:41Z

Title: Obituaries

Word count: 1969

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Rating: PG

Warnings: Character Death

Category: Angst

Obituaries

It was a warm Sunday evening, and Janet was sitting on the patio in her backyard whilst Cassie, sat next to her, completed her homework. Sighing, Janet turned to the obituaries of the local paper, a habit she’d picked up from her late mother and had done since she was about ten. Scanning the columns, she kept an eye out for names she would recognise. None on page one. Turning, she saw a familiar face staring out at her and half the page dedicated to him. ‘Daniel Jackson’ the title said. A lump formed at the back of her throat. Daniel had only been gone for three days but it felt like a lifetime without him. Swallowing hard she studied the picture. It was a recent one, his hair was short, glasses a little lopsided but Janet would bet money on the beer in his hand being responsible for that. She noticed that his arm was raised as if it was hooked around someone’s shoulders, and when she looked closely, she noticed silver hair in the very corner of the shot. Jack. Placing the paper on her lap, she sniffed, wiped her eyes, turned her attention back to the paper, and began to read the obituary.

‘When Kasuf blessed us he told us we were one. He never told us what to do when one half of you is gone; what to do with half a life or half a will to care; what to do with half a heart, now the other half’s not there. You were the other half of me Daniel. A half linked to my own. What do I do with half a life, now that I’m on my own? Sorrow cannot rob me of the happy days we’ve known, nor take away my love for you. For love will keep his own and ever in years to come. Although we are apart, my life will be made richer by the memories of my heart. The events we shared, the amount we cared, the love that flew between me and you, the times we had, never sad, my hero, dear Daniel. I miss you dear, even though I know you’re here. People say, ‘Jack, how do you feel today?’ I just answer politely, ‘okay’, but really, inside all I do is cry. If I had one wish, it would be to ask the angels to bring you back to me. I still talk to you, especially when I‘m feeling down. Loving you was easy. Loosing you is a heart ache that will never go away. My beautiful amazing Spacemonkey, I love you; please wait for me. Jack, xxx.’

Tears were streaming freely down her face as she realised how much Jack had loved Daniel. Cassie came over and asked what was wrong; Janet just handed her the paper. Now that she thought about it, she remembered the mission on which they must have been blessed: Jack had requested for the two of them to go to Abydos, just days after Daniel had been infected with the Machello bug; when they returned, they were both so happy and had matching tattoos on their wrists that Daniel had said meant ‘friendship’. Looking back now, Janet realised they must have been part of the blessing the couple had received! Cassie gently tapped her on the shoulder, crying hard, and Janet scooped her up cuddling her close. “I miss Daniel,” she sobbed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack had been so nervous about going into work after he’d put his piece in the paper about Daniel, but he’d chosen a relatively unknown local one, and, luckily, no one at the mountain had said anything, so he guessed no one had seen it. Slowly he climbed the stairs to the roof deck, with a beer in one hand and the paper in the other. He slumped into his chair, took a long pull of his beer and opened the paper randomly. Ironically it opened into the obituaries page. A picture of Daniel peered out at him, and he checked the date on the front to make sure he hadn’t picked up yesterday’s paper; but he hadn’t, it was today’s date. He looked closely at the picture and saw it had been taken in Janet’s back yard. He remembered taking it with her camera. He lowered his eyes to read the short piece underneath.

‘Parting comes and hearts are broken. Loved ones go with words unspoken. I miss you more than anyone knows. As time goes by, the emptiness grows. The tears I shed are wiped away, but the ache in my heart is there to stay. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. All our love, Janet and Cassie. xxx.’

Eyes damp with unshed tears he looked back at the photo and smiled. Daniel had been so happy that day. He’d worn a light cotton shirt with the first three buttons undone revealing a toned and tanned chest to the world, and he had Jack’s favourite pair of skin tight Levi’s on. Jack remembered that they had left the BBQ early, so they could go home and make love. He had almost let his guard down in front of their friends and kissed Daniel there, but then Daniel had got mad and Jack told him he was cute when he yelled, so Daniel pinned him up against the hallway wall. All was forgiven as they kissed. Looking towards the heavens Jack smiled. “Look what I have started!” he said, hoping that somewhere, Daniel had heard him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Teal’c were enjoying a breakfast of Pancakes in the commissary when Nyan approached them. He placed a local newspaper on the table between them and silently walked away. Looking confused at Teal’c, Sam picked up the paper. The picture jumped out at her: Daniel stood surrounded by the many members of the archaeology department that he had commanded, everyone in the photo smiling at Daniel or patting him as if he had just achieved something miraculous; which, when Sam thought about it, sounded just right for Daniel. Lowering her eyes she read the obituary quietly to Teal’c,

‘ We never got the chance to say goodbye, which really hurts. But we know you’re still with us keeping us safe and guiding us with our work. You’re in our thoughts every minute of every hour of every day. You may be gone physically but you’re with us spiritually. We miss you Daniel. Your faithful team. xxx’

Sam handed the paper to Teal’c so he could inspect the included photo. “I remember taking this photograph,” he said quietly, his deep voice sounding strained as he fought to keep the tears at bay. “It was a very successful mission on which DanielJackson translated a whole new language. The department was very happy, and the celebrations went on into the night.” He smiled at the memory. “Where was I?” Sam asked. “I believe it was after the Zay’tarc incident.” Sam bowed her head. She remembered Daniel excitedly asking her to come along, an opportunity she had passed up to spend time with the colonel, but, as it had turned out, he had gone to DC and she had worked on her Harley.

Janet sat down opposite her, next to Teal’c, and spotted the tears and glum expressions. “What’s up?” she asked concerned. Sam handed her the paper. “Oh, that’s nice that they’ve posted something too,” Janet said as she smiled through the unshed tears. “What do you mean?” Sam snapped. “Come with me,” Janet said. Leading the pair to her office she took out hers and Jack’s obituaries and handed them over. When they had finished reading, Sam’s tears fell quickly and unchecked, the woman taking over from the soldier in one of those rare moments. A single tear rolled down Teal’c’s usually stoic face. “I shall endeavour to post my feelings in a similar fashion to that which you have demonstrated, DrFraiser,” Teal’c said, his voice unusually quiet and unsure. Airmen avoided him as he made his way to his quarters, deep in concentration. The remaining women sat in silence for a while after Teal’c had left, Sam’s hands gripping Jack’s obituary tightly. “I had no idea,” she muttered. “Neither did I,” Janet replied softly. “But this isn’t about you and the colonel Sam, it never has been. It’s about Daniel.” Nodding slowly, Sam fled to her office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the second time that week, Jack found himself on his roof deck with a six pack of beer, a pizza covered in Daniel’s favourite toppings and the local newspaper. Out of a new found habit more than anything, he bypassed the sports section and turned to the obituaries. Once again Daniel’s beautiful blue eyes stared back at him. He hadn’t been expecting it and the tears fell as soon as he saw the photograph of his lover. The picture was taken maybe four weeks before Daniel had sacrificed himself to save an entire planet, his arm was still in a sling from when Reese had broken it. The four of them—himself, Daniel, Sam and Teal’c—were sat in O’Malley’s. Jack’s hand was subtly resting on Daniels thigh, whilst Sam’s arms were around his shoulders and Teal’c stood behind Daniel, his hand firmly on his other shoulder. It was the way it should have been, them protecting Daniel, but obviously they didn’t do that very well, did they? Angrily he wiped the tears away, took a long pull of beer and read the people’s tributes to Daniel.

‘I miss you more today than I did yesterday. I love you more than words can ever explain. You were like a brother to me. I can still feel your warm kiss upon my cheek as your arms surrounded me. Your cuddles I will truly miss. Make sure the angles take care of you. Sam. xx’

The words touched Jack deeply, but he tried not to dwell on them and moved onto the next piece.

‘You once taught me this dedication used to remember passed loved ones. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. I think it describes our situation perfectly, DanielJackson. I miss you, my friend and brother in arms. Teal’c. xx’

Silently, Jack sobbed. He knew how much it would have cost Teal’c to write those words, the man was usually silent. Suddenly he was reminded of something Daniel had once said: ‘Teal’c is a man of few words but when he does day something he really hit’s the nail on the head.’ Well, as usual, Daniel had been right.

There was a faint rustling from the bottom of the stairs, and suddenly Jack was face to face with a Jaffa!

“Jesus Teal’c, don’t do that to me!”

“I am sorry O’Neill, I did not mean to alarm you, but myself, DrFraiser and MajorCarter bring pizza, beer and company.” Jack smiled, his first real smile since Daniel had left him. “In that case, come on up.” The four of them sat in silence for a while, eating the two pizzas and making a dent in the beer, before Janet started the ‘remember when’ game. It was well into the morning when Janet stumbled downstairs to sleep on the couch. Sam followed and slept in the spare bedroom and Teal’c meditated on the chair next to Janet. Smiling at his guests, Jack made his way back up to the roof deck, clutching one of Daniels sweaters that still smelt of him and flopped into his chair. Holding it close, he smiled to the heavens and whispered, “I still love you Daniel.” The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was a slight breeze drifting across his face, and Daniel’s voice saying, “I love you too Jack.”

hello

2006-09-13T12:36:53Z

Hi, I'm really new to this an normally just lurk around the JackslashDaniel livejournal but i finally decided to make one of my own...it prob won't be great or interesting but you know....